1. No one in the area could afford homeowners insurance anymore, which had skyrocketed with the rash of blown down homes the pigs had previously built. It was declared a high risk zone by all the major insurance carriers, which was largely because …
2. The three little pigs’ houses didn’t meet FEMA building codes due to shoddy construction practices and materials. In fact, the houses were routinely blown down with just a huff and a puff of wind.
3. The pigs had been forced to cut corners since they weren’t makin’ enough bacon to afford better materials than sticks and straws. So the problem became a vicious cycle – less income, cheaper materials, fewer sales, less income …
4. The housing market was consequently very bad in Bacon Falls. This led most homeowners to forgo any attempts at building new homes, and instead remodel their existing abodes with – you guessed it – brick face exteriors.
5. Whenever the pigs poured a foundation for a new home, it always seemed to turn into a slop-fest. The concrete was replaced with mud, the work site became a pig sty, and jobs never got finished.
6. It didn’t help that no one on their crew had thumbs either. This made handling power tools a considerable challenge, not to mention the fact that all the blueprint measurements were in pigs feet.
7. The three little pigs refused to pay off corrupt building inspectors, who routinely failed the homes they did manage to build for all sorts of petty code violations. Even if the pigs did have access to good building materials and could afford them, they could never afford the bribes.
8. A misunderstanding caused the pigs to work at a disadvantage for the first two years they were in the home-building business. They had banned the use of hammers on  all of their work sites, thinking that it was a nickname for pork eaters.
9. One more nagging obstruction to construction (see what we did there?) was a labor dispute between the three little pigs and the Weekends Off Labor Force (W.O.L.F.), who were blowing a lot of hot air on the picket line outside their office.
10. The pigs were having trouble winning bids on new homes for another reason: their choice of names for the home building business they’d started – Pork Construction. Some folks just got the wrong impression, we suppose.

1. The unusual shape of keys isn’t something that kids encounter anywhere else. Think about it. What else is shaped quite like a key? None of their toys or food, certainly, so these key things must be very special in some way.
2. The shiny image of a cluster of keys simply beckons a child to have a closer look. A ring of keys can look like the brightest star in the galaxy to a young explorer, impossible to resist.
3. Kids see grownups carrying them all the time, so surely they have some mystical qualities. Perhaps everyone they love has them. Or maybe they’re the “key” to being a grown-up!
4. Keys jingle on a keyring like Santa’s sleigh, or an ice cream truck. Whatever it is, for a child it may as well be the bells of angels themselves. They just can’t ignore the jingle of a set of keys.
5. Oftentimes, keys are accompanied by trinkets on the keyring. Things that make sounds or look like toys. The keyring looks like a toy box to a child. There are all sorts of things to hold and play with, they think to themselves.
6. Kids can be mesmerized by keys’ magical powers to start engines, open doors and make windows go up and down. Surely these keys are very special indeed, and they must have them.
7. During car trips, kids see these keys swaying hypnotically beneath the steering wheel, jingling and reflecting light. Keys seem to be everywhere that grown-ups go and they always signify adventure.
8. Dangling from belt loops and pockets of adults like a mobile, they are oh-so-attractive. This just adds to their appeal. If only my arms were just a little bit longer, they think, I could have such fun with them.
9. Adults realize that keys represent a choke hazard to young kids, so they keep them out of the reach of small hands. Perhaps kids sense this and are drawn to them all the more because they are so taboo.
10. Nothing else a child has access to works like a key. Kids don’t have any toys that do the things that keys can do, and grown-ups who visit always seem to disappear right after they take out their keys.

1. Short temper – Lots of things can cause a person to have a short temper. When you normally are pretty patient, but you start losing your temper on more and more occasions, especially over small things, it’s time to take inventory. This could signal a problem
2. Letting the kids rule the house – If your kids have taken over the house and you no longer are in charge, it could very well mean you are experiencing burn out.
3. Lack of discipline for the children – Some parents are permissive and it would seem that there is little discipline in the home to begin with, but if you normally keep a rather disciplined home and now it’s beginning to get ragged around the edges, you might want to look into the cause. Kids need and want discipline even though they are constantly pushing to find out where the boundaries are.
4. Lack of energy – This is more than a matter of your get up and go has gotten up and left! If you suffer from a great loss of energy over a period of time, you really need to determine what the problem is. It could be a lack of rest or poor eating habits. It could be some vitamin deficiency or even too many cloudy days. Or it could be burn out from your time with the kids. Find out what’s causing your energy drain so you can remedy the situation.
5. Constant fatigue – This is another sign of burn out. However, keep in mind it is also a symptom of other disorders as well. Start with taking a little time away without the kids. If the break doesn’t cure the fatigue, you may need to consult your doctor to get some help determining the cause.
6. Feeling guilty all the time – If you are always feeling guilty about every little thing concerning your kids, it could be a burn out problem. It’s really okay to leave them with a sitter for a little while so you can go out and do something for yourself. You need your alone time and some grown up time, both of which will help prevent burn out.
7. Nonstop stress – Parenting is stressful at times, but not constantly. You may be experiencing constant stress and this is a problem. Too much time with the kids and not enough away time to balance it out could be the cause.
8. Unhappiness – There is a certain joy in parenting, but perhaps you don’t feel that way anymore. If despondency has taken over your life with your kids, it’s time to do something about it. Find ways to rejuvenate yourself and you’ll soon find that joy in parenting returning as well.
9. Lack of social life – Many parents will tell you they don’t have a social life at all. Still, most parents have some type of social life, whether it is with other parents, family members, a few close friends, worship services, or playgroups. If you had such relationships, and now they are considerably few or nonexistent, there is probably trouble brewing. Time to reconnect with your friends in the adult world.
10. Lack of self-care – Hanging out at home in sweats is one thing, but staying in your pajamas for days at a time is not healthy. If you are not taking care of yourself and have lost interest in personal appearance and hygiene, either you are experiencing burn out or something equally as serious is going on. It’s time to get help and the sooner the better.

There are several factors that can lead to burn out. Dealing with a child that has critical needs is one of the major causes for burn out. Unrealistic expectations for yourself and/or your child are also reasons. What you need to know is that it can be prevented and if you do burn out, there is help available, but you still need to reach out and receive it.

1. Ask – Getting the obvious out of the way right from the start, give your suspects the benefit of the doubt – not to mention the opportunity to snitch. You may be able to get some leads at least before moving on to more clandestine tactics, like …
2. Nanny Cam – There’s no better substitute than having your own reliable and impartial eyewitness at the scene of the crime. It doesn’t sleep, it doesn’t take the day off, and never lies. You can count on finding out the skinny from Nanny Cam.
3. Follow the crumb trail. – Physical evidence can be pretty incriminating. Considering the fact that most kids tend to be messy eaters, it may not be all that difficult to trace the path that last cookie took.
4. Offer a Reward – Nothing flushes out the guilty like a good old-fashioned bounty. Provide a little incentive for your kids to police themselves (and each other), and you may just get to the bottom of this cookie caper faster than you’d hoped.
5. Betrayed With a Kiss – Don’t worry about who ate that last cookie. Just let it go, give each of your children a kiss … and check each of the little beggars for traces of sugar, crumbs or chocolate smears on their lips. Your momma didn’t raise no fool.
6. Check the sink. – Chances are whoever ate the last cookie also washed it down with milk or some other beverage. If your kids have a favorite glass, or possibly a favorite place for leaving glasses when they’ve emptied them, you may get a solid lead here.
7. Tips Ahoy – You may have an informant in the home that you can count on for some useful leads. It may be someone who could use a little good will after being busted for some other offense. Here’s your chance to play ‘good cop, bad cop’ like you’ve always wanted to.
8. Set a Trap – If you’ve got a problem with someone constantly eating the last cookie, it’s probably the same person each time. Hide the cookies in a secret location, and let on to each child (and your husband) where you’ve hid them. Only confide a different location to each person, and place a marker at each one. The location that’s raided will identify your cookie monster.
9. Eat it yourself. – Take all of the mystery and investigating out of the equation by just removing the temptation beforehand. You’ll always know who ate the last cookie if it’s the same suspect every time – you.
10. Honesty is the Best Policy. – The bottom line is, if you foster an atmosphere of honor and trust, who ate the last cookie need never be a mystery nor an issue in your home.

You never thought you’d end up pulling a Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew in your own home, did you? Sometimes all it takes is a little logic, a little cunning, and that enviable ‘third eye’ mothers have… usually in the back of their heads.

1. Mothers have to do everything – Some moms believe that nothing, absolutely nothing, will get done without them. They need to oversee every detail of family life and make sure things are running smoothly. As long as they have that outlook and it works for everyone concerned, chances are nothing is going to change.
2. Perfectionism – The perfect mother doesn’t need alone time, or so she thinks. Trying to live up to the unattainable image of the supermom is a sure way to crash and burn.
3. Demanding kids – Sometimes little ones can be extremely demanding; Mom cannot even go to the bathroom alone. Children like this want to know where Mommy is every minute and she’d better not get out of their eyesight. The idea of alone time for such a mom is just a pipe dream.
4. Fathers that don’t support alone time – If you have a husband that doesn’t support your alone time, it might be much harder to get. Some fathers are kind enough to take the kids while Mom goes off and does something she wants to do or maybe even stays home and takes a bubble bath. But for the mother who doesn’t have that kind of support at home, finding the time to be by herself can be like looking for a needle in a haystack.
5. Too busy – Some mothers are workaholics and doing too much all the time to take a break. Every minute is planned and used to the max. This mom gets tons of things accomplished, except perhaps some much needed self care.
6. Over scheduled – Similar to the busy mom this mom is always on the go, but she has some down time. The only problem is that her down time is spent with other people. She’s waiting for the kids to do this or that, she’s at dance rehearsals or foot ball practice. With a little help she could actually manage to get some alone time in there somewhere.
7. Guilt feelings – There are mothers who just feel so guilt ridden about taking private time for themselves, they can’t bring themselves to do it. It feels as if they are stealing time away from the family.
8. Worried about the kids – These moms are worried that something terrible will happen to the kids if they are away, even for a little while. Over protective mothers have a need to hover over their children constantly and really can’t function without them. Chances are many of the hovering moms, in reality, don’t even want time to themselves.
9. Not thinking creatively – All it takes at times is a bit of creative thinking to get a piece of alone time. Most moms could probably figure out how to make it happen if they would take the time to get resourceful with their thinking. You’d be surprised what a little imagination can dream up!
10. Single parents – Mothers who don’t have a backup parent or other family support around them can find it especially difficult to find time for themselves. Trading babysitting favors with other single moms and making time in the early morning or late evenings when the kids are in bed may be options for these moms. Again, creativity is the key.

There are certainly extenuating circumstances in which alone time will be very difficult to come by. However, for the most part, creative thinking and letting family members and your support system know that you need some space will help you get the alone time you need to recharge and get rejuvenated. Once they see the difference it makes, you may find it easier to come by.

1. I Love Lucy – The original TV show, Lucille Ball is as funny and wacky now as she was in the 1950s. Filled with hysterical slapstick humor and bits of life in the fifties, this show will have your kids asking all sorts of history questions, even while laughing.
2. The A-Team – For boys especially, this show is something they’ve been missing. No sex or profanity or death, but plenty of violence and action. They’ll love Mr. T’s gold-bedecked hero, the antics of the crazy pilot, and the inevitable victory of the good guys. Not to mention cars flipping, big explosions, and high-speed chases.
3. MacGyver – The ultimate do-it-yourselfer, MacGyver is the show for the nerd in all of us. Anyone that can disarm a bomb with a paperclip and a shoestring is worth watching. A bit preachy at times, this eighties show glorified the quick thinker.
4. Happy Days – A show about better times, your kids will enjoy a glimpse into teenage life of the fifties. Jukeboxes, hamburgers, and the Fonz. What more could they want? Even better: no sex, teen pregnancies, or other awkward situations.
5. Saved By the Bell – Another teen show, this time in the eighties. Kids will love the loud clothes and big hair, and some teenage drama doesn’t change with generations. This squeaky clean teen sitcom is fine for even the youngest kids, however.
6. I Dream of Jeanie – A genie to grant all your wishes? Now that’s something kids could get used to. Think of it as a live action ‘Fairly Odd Parents’. When an astronaut finds a genie in a bottle, he has to keep her under wraps and away from his superiors. Hilarity ensues.
7. The Munsters – Like the Addams Family but less creepy. The humorous adventures of Frankenstein’s monster and his family living in 1960s suburbia. More blue-collar than the Addams Family, these monsters just wanted to fit in.
8. The Beverly Hillbillies – Another group struggling to fit in where they don’t belong. Your kids will love the younger hillbillies’ crazy antics and Grandma’s possum soup recipes. Between keeping gators in the swimming pool and shooting their neighbor’s hats, the hillbillies are sure to have your kids laughing.
9. Gilligan’s Island – The three hour tour is still going strong in this classic TV show. The original ‘Survivors’, Gilligan and friends struggle to get off the island they’re marooned on. Needless to say they never quite make it, though their schemes will have kids giggling.
10. Mork and Mindy – What more could kids want than a crash-landed alien played by Robin Williams? As is typical for his work, kids will be rolling on the floor with laughter as Mindy attempts to keep Mork from sleeping upside down, laying an egg, or eating the furniture. Nanu, nanu.

No matter what age your child is, you can find a classic TV show that they’ll be sure to love. From aliens to monsters to high school, there’s still fun to be had with old favorites and new discoveries to be made. Check out a few of these old television shows and see what new family favorites you can find.

1. Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face by Jack Prelutsky – A great poem for young children, the imaginative words and fast rhythm make this a great introductory poem.
2. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost- ‘Miles to go before I sleep’ may be one of the best known quotes of poetry ever used. Frost’s simple and yet beautiful poem is short and sweet; just the right size to memorize.
3. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost – Another poem by Frost, the tale of two roads may be lost on young minds, but they will appreciate it more as they get older and have difficult decisions to make.
4. Sonnet 18: Shall I Compare Thee to a Summers Day by William Shakespeare – A short and sweet love poem; no child’s education would be complete without a mention of the Bard. The old English wording may confuse them at first, but some discussion on the subject matter will help them to grasp the idea.
5. Because I Could Not Stop for Death by Emily Dickenson – A mournful poem, and yet one which would not frighten children with the imagery of death. The peaceful journey and calm manner described in the poem lend itself well to discussions of eternity and the hereafter.
6. Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas – Another poem about death, this one is opposite to the gentle acceptance of Dickenson. ‘Rage against the dying of the light’ is a war cry to death, fighting against it with every ounce of power. The duality of these two poems should be compared to help children understand the different ways of dealing with difficult emotions.
7. A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes – A very different type of poetry, filled with questions. Just like children, the poet has more questions than answers and this short poem compresses the struggle to find oneself into eleven short lines.
8. Invictus by William Ernest Henley – The poem of independent spirit, the idea of being the ‘master of one’s fate’ is one that will ring strongly with children.
9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou – The desire for freedom comes through clearly in this poem. Children will identify with feeling trapped in circumstances and wishing for something more.
10. The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe – Too long of a poem to be memorized completely, The Raven is still a masterful work, well worth mentioning. A creepy, dark poem that’s best told in a dimly lit room at night, Poe’s work will have kids straining to hear the raven themselves.

These are but a few of the many, many classic poems that children should learn about. Some are more complex, other simpler, but these ten should be a good start. Whatever your child’s age, there is never a wrong time to discuss the importance and beauty of poetry.

1. Close neighbors – If you need to run to the store and don’t want to drag the kids along, it could be alright to leave them alone if there’s a neighbor close by. If you’re on good terms with your next door neighbors they may be willing to be available in an emergency. Make sure your neighbor knows that you’re going to be gone and the let kids know they’re there if needed.
2. Emergency – If there’s an emergency you may not have any choice but to leave kids alone. You may be faced with a situation where you need to leave suddenly and there will be a brief time before a sitter can get there.
3. For their safety – Another scenario is when it’s safer to leave the kids alone than for them to go with you. If someone has a gun to your head, you certainly don’t want to put them in harms way also.
4. When they’re sleeping – If the kids are sleeping and you need to run to the corner store that might be okay. If you’re only going to be gone for 5 minutes, it would be a shame to wake them up. Of course a nanny cam or baby monitor would be ideal for this situation.
5. Constant contact – Cell phones and two-way radios make it easy to stay in constant contact if you need to leave your children home alone. Although it’s not foolproof, being in close contact while you’re gone can give you some peace of mind.
6. If they ask – Some kids will let you know when they’re ready to be left alone. If they feel mature enough to take care of themselves instead of being forced to go on brief errands, they’ll say so.
7. Short errands – Of course the first time you leave kids alone you don’t want to stay away for hours. If you know a short errand will only take 5 to 10 minutes if you leave the kids home, but it will take twice as long to take them with, that may be the deciding factor.
8. Sitter has to leave suddenly – A situation may arise that your sitter has to leave unexpectedly and it will take a few minutes before you or someone else can get home. In this case, it might be okay for the kids to be on their own in the interim.
9. If they’re occupied – If the children are completely engrossed in a television show or video game, it may be alright to leave them to their own devices for a while. If they’re totally occupied while you’re gone, chances are they won’t be looking to get into trouble.
10. As a test – If you’re just not sure if your kids are ready to be left alone, you could set up a test. Tell the children you’re going to be gone for 10 minutes to run an errand, but just drive around the block instead. A nanny cam would also come in handy to observe their behavior while you’re away.

All children mature differently so there’s no set age to determine when they’re old enough to be left on their own. Hopefully it’s before they turn 18! The key is to let kids know what the rules are and make sure they follow them while you’re gone. Start with leaving for a few minutes at a time and work up to where you can trust them to be alone for an hour or two. Eventually they will be able to fend for themselves for longer periods of time.

1. Give them more physically demanding chores at an early age. It can help them to be less dependent on their male counterparts when they reach adulthood.
2. Play the same games with them as with your sons when they are young. Allow them to feel like equals, with the same rules applied.
3. Stress the importance of physical activity equally to both sons and daughters. Don’t perpetuate the myth that being a girl, and being physically active, are mutually exclusive.
4. Don’t discourage daughters who demonstrate an interest in activities that are considered to be meant for boys. Lose that whole “tomboy” stigma, and allow girls a full spectrum of choices.
5. Rather than fostering an environment in which your daughter believes that she can “win” by crying, giving up, or asking for help, parents could instill in them a belief that they can – and should – take care of themselves.
6. Include self-defense training in Phys Ed. This seems to us to be a good idea for all kids at a proper age; but more important for young women especially.
7. Encourage girls to participate in sports. This shouldn’t to be restricted to traditional venues like gymnastics and volleyball; nor should girls and boys be required to play in separate leagues.
8. Include women in the draft, offer more encouragement and incentive for them to enlist.
9. Stop sending subliminal messages that femininity requires that women be soft in every way. Provide them with examples of women who could be self-assured and gritty without sacrificing their womanhood.
10. Avoid instilling the notion that a woman is somehow incomplete without a male partner. Marriage may or may not be her goal, or even an interest, but it should never be portrayed as a necessity for self-fulfillment, nor as a lifeline in lieu of self-support.

1. Facebook: Embarrassing pictures and videos can be uploaded to Facebook in a matter of a few seconds and ruin someone’s life forever.  Kids do not understand the damage that something like that can do to a person.  People have actually committed suicide because of events like these.
2. Cell phones: Growing up we did not have cell phones.  Kids these days have the ability to take pictures at a moment’s notice and sometimes not in the most appropriate places.  Nude pictures of students in the shower or in the locker room have also caused suicides.
3. Texting: Kids can bully by texting now.  They can text everyone else at the same time something bad or embarrassing about someone else.  They can also send pictures over their phone to everyone on their contact list.  Bullying like this can make someone’s life miserable.
4. Flip cameras: These cameras are used to shoot quick videos at close range and can be uploaded to the Internet.  Kids that want to bully just have to take embarrassing videos of a student and share them with everyone.  Or a video can be sent to a parent as well that would get them grounded or in trouble.
5. You Tube: A lot of good things have happened to people by posting a video on You Tube, but a lot of bad stuff has happened too.  People love to be the first one to dish the dirt on someone else.  They witness a fight they grab their cell phone and upload it to You Tube.  Or they set someone up and post what they think is a funny video to You Tube, but it’s actually very embarrassing.  People don’t think they are bullying when they do this stuff, but they really are.
6. Gaming systems: Many online gaming systems allow conversations between the players.  Teens have reported that someone pretending to be them said mean things or embarrassing things to another person.  This kind of bullying is hard to stop and hard to track.  It does however cause a lot of problems for today’s teens.
7. Blogs: There are teens that create blogs that post the latest gossip about people and will say nasty things about people.  Teens feel that they are anonymous and that no one can tell who is doing the bullying, but there are ways to track down who’s doing it and there are some big consequences.  If the bullying leads to a suicide the teen who is behind the bullying can be brought up on charges and sent to jail.  Lesser sentences are losing privileges to use a computer for 2 years.  Try doing your homework without a computer these days.
8. Chat sites: Other sites online have chat rooms where teens can go and chat with their friends online.  People can go into these chat rooms and make up a user name and start saying bad things about kids in that chat room.  Many times there is a chat room that the students frequent because all their friends go there so when someone bullies in a chat room a lot of that kid’s peer group could be reading it.
9. E-mail: Bullies steal identities and will sign into an e-mail account and send damaging e-mails pretending to be that teen.  Inappropriate messages to a female teacher or a nasty message to the principal are all things that can really get that child in trouble and they didn’t do anything.  Remind your child to keep passwords absolutely private.
10. Instant messaging: Bullies will try to send nasty instant messages threatening to do something to a teen when they see them next.  Or tell them that they are going to make sure that they don’t get something they want at school like a part in the play or a solo in choir.  Bullying can take many forms even if it’s just telling someone that they did a terrible job on their audition or they overheard someone important say that they did a terrible job.  Anything like that is going to put undue stress on that child.  Make sure that your child is aware and being safe.